Common Decency

Common decency....what a concept, one that I think is lost on most people. And I'm not talking about making a public spectacle of oneself (when drunk perhaps...) or the annoying habits that tick off the general public (e.g. singing out loud in an elevator, seriously, who does that?).  So let me indulge you in what I mean by this, lets start with the definition of decency...

decency [ˈdiːs^ənsɪ]

n pl -cies

1. (Sociology) conformity to the prevailing standards of propriety, morality, modesty, etc.

2. the quality of being decent

 

Basically, what this means to me, is common decency is the basic consideration of others that in part is ingrained in one's moral character. The Golden Rule, treat others as you would like to be treated.  Today's society is increasingly becoming more self-absorbed.  All about the here and now, what you want, meeting your own desires.  I'm all for about going after your heart's desires and getting what you want out of life.  But I think where people begin to miss the mark is when they do this at the expense of other people's feelings. Tact and discretion can go a long way. Since it is human tendency to think selfishly about one's own desires, let me phrase it like this, think about how you would feel if you were put in the same situation. I prefer to take a different spin at it though, think about how much more pleasant the world would be if people considered how their actions affected others. 

A Night at the Aquarium

So, I recently attended a work Christmas party with my friend Josh that was hosted at the aquarium.  This excited me very, and not just for the open bar.  I actually haven't been to the aquarium in quite some time and was very excited to go on a tour and look at all the new exhibits.  Most of all, I was super excited to see the penguins.  I grew up with a borderline obsession with penguins for most of my childhood.  It all started with my childhood stuffed animal, Softie, which was, you guessed it, a penguin.  But I digress.

Upon entry to the aquarium we located said open bar and proceeded to start our evening.  After also filling our bellies with food and discussing the irony of the aquarium serving crab dip, we decided to take our tour of the aquarium.  Backwards of course, running down the escalators in the opposite direction just seemed logical.  Especially since the rain forest exhibit was closed off. Fail #1.

Well, we finally get to the first floor and are unable to locate the penguins.  I, of course, refuse to let this go.  So, I approach the security desk to ask where the penguin exhibit is.  They inform me that they do not have a penguin exhibit, nor have they ever, but they do have puffins.  I rebuttal by explaining that puffins are not penguins, they are little midget penguins trying to pretend they are penguins.  I then ask as to why the seal exhibit outside is no longer outside.  They informed me that they have removed the seal exhibit all together to make room for the Australia exhibit in the new wing.  Ok fine, I can deal with this loss, especially seeing as I can now explore new exhibits.  Oh no...wait up...I can't go in, this too is closed off to us?  Fail #2.

So, heart broken, head held low, we proceed back up to the fourth floor to continue the festivities.  Only to be reminded shortly of my disappointment.  Half way upon our return we see a picture of, what else? Penguins. ULTIMATE FAIL. Now this is just false advertisement.  How dare you feature pictures of animals that are not part of the aquarium! 

I'm now contemplating a class action law suit to deal with the emotional distress I suffered Saturday night.  At the best, I believe I can get a wing named after myself and monetary compensation.  At the worst, I believe that I can gain rightful ownership of the three finned sea turtle.  All in all though, it made for a fun evening, and at least everything was free!

Pity Party...Your Table Is Now Ready!

So, I've been reading Francis Chan's novel, Crazy Love.  It's a great book in the sense that it really challenges you to think about your own life.  In one of the chapters, he discusses how more than half of the entire world's population live on less than $2 a day.  Two dollars! I think my Dunkin Donuts coffee this morning cost me more than that. Even crazier, if you make more than $4,000 a year, you make 100 times more than the average person on the planet.  That is nuts.

I understand how easy it is to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of your day to day life.  And heck, even I end up obsessing over the tiniest minute problems.  But the fact of the matter is...we don't have it all that bad.  Yeah, sometimes you might be dealt a rough deal in life, and the odds might be stacked against you, but I encourage you to put it in perspective.  I am a strong believer that life is what you make it. If you aren't happy with your circumstances, then do something about it! Even if its small. I think by far one of my biggest pet peeves is someone who throws a pity party for themselves, won't take any input or help from others, and then chooses to complain about their circumstances.

In my opinion, not only are you doing a disservice to yourself, but you are being selfish.  I don't say this to rant, but hopefully to motivate and put our petty issues in perspective. And by all means, should you find me throwing myself a one-person pity party, feel free to call me out on it.  Remind me of how truly blessed I am, not in what I'm missing, but in what I have.

Weight Watchers...Revisited

So, I've been slacking.  Not going to lie.  I haven't been to the grocery store in weeks, eating out more, eating inconsistently, etc.  Even my workouts have gone from 3-4 times a week to 2-3 times a week.  So, needless-to-say, I've put on a few pounds.  Thankfully, not a lot. I haven't had to buy new clothes and larger pants, but they are definitely a little snug.

I'm an avid subscriber of Hungry Girl, I read her emails daily and like to try out her recipes and suggestions.  That woman is genius to turn the idea of weight loss into a career for herself, but I digress.  Well, last week I found out that Weight Watchers has totally revamped their system.  Before, the big emphasis of the program was a high-fiber diet.  Having stomach problems, not only did I benefit from the weight loss, but this kind of diet really helped me, again, I digress. So now, they are factoring in carbs and proteins in the mix to emphasize a balanced diet.  Having worked out with a trainer in the past, I know for a fact I don't get nearly enough protein in my diet, which is much needed for toning, etc.

So, I got to thinking, enough is enough.  The holiday season is fast approaching, so I want to be proactive.  Let me nip this is the bud now.  Plus, I had a certain curiosity to check out the new system and see how many points are different and what I get to eat and don't eat this time around.  Well, I bite the bullet and signed up online.  I grabbed my gym bag today as well.  Its time to shed these few pounds I've put on and maybe a few.  Right now my goal is 10 lbs.  I will reassess when I hit this goal and decide from there if I want to lose more or not.  I'm pretty sure that I have roped my friend, Kim, into being my partner-in-crime on this little journey as well.

Stay tuned for updates, and wish me luck!

When is a friend a friend?

We've all heard the term "Smalltimore", and all-inclusive term to reference the three-degrees of separation phenomenon of living in the city and surrounding area. And I'm sure we have all experienced it, flipping through various pages of Facebook to say, "Hey, how do you know so-and-so?".  I know that I certainly feel it.  Having worked various bar jobs, lived in the state my entire life, gone to multiple schools in the area, and having been in a sorority, I can honestly say, I've met a ton of people in my lifetime.  I was going through my friend list just the other day, and I was able to say that I knew all of the 800+ friends on my list (after I cleared out a few).

But at what point is someone more than an acquaintance, or friend, or good friend, or best friend?  On the spectrum of friends, how do you decide where one falls?

In the recent months, I think I have been clearing out my real-life "buddy list".  Sifting out those that I think are no longer genuine friends that care about me.  And I think I'm being smarter in terms of who I am allowing myself to bond with.  I'm quicker to recognize the insincere and put my foot down on those situations. I feel that I'm still giving opportunities, to let people move from an acquaintance to friend and so on.  But as can be seen by the past week's events, I'm not going to put up with people that disrespect me, intentional or not...

The good news is, with this housecleaning, I'm ending up with some terrific friends.  And not just that, but I'm learning how to stand up for myself and I'm learning my limits. Live by the golden rule....treat others like you want to be treated.

Red Hot

So, maybe I don't express it enough, but I'm a Christian.  My faith is very important to me, so important that I don't think I would even marry a man if he didn't have the same beliefs as me.  Scratch that, I know I wouldn't.  We've been talking in church and my Bible study group (yes, I go to one of those) about being luke-warm in our faith.  And that is so not fair to God!  He has given me so much in my life for me to be thankful for....and what do I do, I take it for granted.

Maybe I'm trying to hard to fit in sometimes, maybe I just push it to the side because life so easily gets in the way.  But I wanted to take just a few moments to share this with you all. Because, God's pretty friggin awesome. If you ever want to know more about my story, and the things that I have experienced, and why I can confidently say that there is not one single person out there that could ever shake my faith, then please feel free to hit me up.

AND if you EVER want to go to Bible study with me or church on Sundays (Epic, meets in Canton at 11AM, hello getting to sleep in still), then call me and I'll take you with!

Kritten's log...

Vocal rest...day two. Hysteria is beginning to set in.  The cold symptoms have started to fall by the wayside and all that remains is the lack of voice.  Without the company to keep my relative sanity in check today, I now find myself wanting to talk to Sake (my roommates dog).

Ok, but on a serious note, I've already begun to reorganize my closet for the winter clothes, upload pictures to facebook, and clean my bathroom.  But I hate this.  I think this is the longest I've ever been quiet in my whole life.  And now I'm not sure how I will make up the hours at work, considering I might not have enough to do so.  I guess I will figure that out on my many 8PM nights coming up.  You never realize how much you rely on your voice for communication until you no longer have it.  Even just hanging out with myself, there are moments I find myself wanting to talk aloud.

Next time I can recognize that I am going to lose my voice...I will NOT cheer aloud during a Raven's game.  I have learned my lesson, I swear!  Now can I have my voice back pleeeeease?

This life is more then just a read through...

So, without going into too much detail, I recently had the lovely experience of being treated as a scapegoat.  Its an unfortunate situation, but one I'm trying not to worry about.  Eventually, the truth will surface, but irregardless, I will have moved on. But it did get me thinking about friendships, because honestly, I don't think I would have handled this whole situation near as well without some great people in my life.

Now if I handled the situation like I typically would have, I would have ruminated over the issue all night eventually making myself sick to my stomach and questioning myself.  Instead, I grabbed a bottle of wine and two good friends who refused to let me frown for more than two minutes at a time.  By the end of the night I was smiling and happy.  It is still hard not to take the situation personally, but by not ruminating on the issue, I was able to at least gain some perspective and not convince myself that the issue was me.  I'm not sure if my friends realize just how much I appreciate what they did for me, because it was an immense help and a huge step for me.

Now comes the test for my fringe friends.  I don't mean to use that word in a negative context, but more so in reference to the friends that you see on occasion.  Not your core group, but your drinking buddies that you still hang out with, still consider a friend, might even be able to get them to pick you up off the side of the road in the middle of a night, but maybe not the ones you call everyday.  I'm in a position where I will need to rely on them and their generosity.  It should be interesting to see who comes through for me or puts out a genuine effort to help me out!  The good new is, a small effort goes a long way with me :)

Jury Duty

So, last week I actually had the displeasure of jury duty.  Not only did I have to sit around all day waiting to be called, but I actually got picked for a jury!  My case was supposed to be a 'short case', which ended up being two days. My favorite was when we were asked to show up to the courthouse the next day at 9AM and the judge wasn't even there on time.  The incident in question occurred on St. Patrick's Day and was a heroin deal.  The guy being charged was facing felony charges for possession, possession with the intent to distribute, and distribution.

So, it was clear as day that the guy was guilty.  However, I was dealing with some ridiculous idiots on the jury, that even admitted they believed he was guilty, but because it wasn't beyond a reasonable doubt, they wanted to let him off.  I tried and tried to explain legal terms to them and what the judge told us we could use to make our decision based off of, but they stared at me blankly.

Being that it was a deadline at work for me, I wasn't going to sit there all day and force a hung jury over this.  I have no doubt in my mind that he will end up back in court for a similar charge within a year.  And since he is clearly out on bail with a non-public defender, he's obviously stimulating the economy with his drug money, so whatever.  I ended up conceding my vote and letting a heroin dealer back on the streets.  Awesome.  And what pissed me off the most was the reverse racism that I felt.  The other jurors asked me where I grew up and then laughed when they thought that I, a little white girl from Howard County, couldn't possibly fathom what a drug deal might look like.  Forget the fact that I worked at Baltimore Behavioral Health for a little and tried to rehabilitate people just like the guy in question. 

I honestly and so disappointed in my legal system.  I hope that I never have to deal with such ignorance again.  I'm just happy the experience is all over.  Unfortunately, I was unable to make my goal because of the missed time at work.  So, at the end of the day, I know next time they try to pick me for a jury they will get a few choice words and will most likely never choose me again.

Happily never after...

Fairy tales and romantic comedies while fun to watch, ultimately set us up for disappointment.  Unlike horror films and science fiction, which are easy to distinguish from reality, these tug on a heart string and a rationale that maybe...just maybe...this could happen.  Take any Disney movie, they are all pretty formulaic, the leads are star-crossed lovers that come from two different worlds and somehow, someway are able to make their love work.  And then there is the ever fun romantic comedy, where we find the devastatingly handsome leading man somehow gets his shit together just in the nick of time to show his leading lady that he does genuinely care about her and is now willing to put in the necessary effort to keep her heart forever.

I'm just as guilty as the next girl for buying into this.  But its Hollywood, we want to see the happy ending, but the reality is, this doesn't happen in real-life.  I think the reality is that women in general are more willing to forgive, to bend, to go back to someone, to put out effort, etc. because we want to buy in that we can have our happy ending too.  That maybe he will change... And there will always be the exception to this, so please don't get mad at me for generalizing.  There will be the guy that gets it together, the girl that draws the line and says 'no more', or even a complete role reversal all together.  But chances are, you and I aren't getting that happy ending. So, what next?  Where are the movies that show us how to pick up the pieces and move on with our lives and stop hoping that its going to work out?

Go Ray-vens!!

So, in an attempt to continue to remain positive about the things in my life.  Rather than discuss all the crud, I'm going to give a shout out to a most epic evening.  Anyone that knows me, knows that I'm a rather die hard Baltimore Ravens fan.  Last night I had the opportunity to work the door for an event at Pickles Pub where Ray Lewis was show casing his new clothing line RL52.  Part of the proceeds actually go to the Ray Lewis Foundation which helps disadvantaged youth in the area.

Not only did I get to keep some of the swag, I actually got to meet Ray Lewis and shake his hand.  Likewise, I was able to meet Chris Carr, Ray Rice, and Redding too!  So, add that to Chris McCallister and Derek Mason and I'm racking them up!

Still waiting for my boyfriend Billy Cundiff to break up with the wifey though, keeping the dream alive!

What a week...

What a difference one week makes.  I started off the week smitten, happy.  But sadly had to make a tough choice in my life and walk away from a situation that short-term makes me have all those warm fuzzies for what I'm hoping is a long term gain.  So, its been an emotional week, but I think I'm working through it, thanks to the help of some amazing friends.  I'm fortunate that my friends are great listeners and don't get tired of hearing me constantly complain about the same thing.

But it was a crazy weekend, and def had some good times in between.  As a Federal Hillian, I actually get a little proud of myself when I venture out of Team 21230 territory.  I made it to Fells and Canton twice this week!  And that is with working all weekend as well.  That's dedication! But I got to try out a new spot called the Point.  They have a good wine selection and great service.  Also got to see some live music at the Horse, sing some Karaoke at Waltz Inn, and make a fool out of myself.  I got to see tons of old friends and catch up as well.

I got to try a duck burger from the Abbey, which was amazing. And habenero wings from Ropewalk, which was painful, and that was only one bite. And the only major disappointment of the weekend was not being able to convince/execute two friends into getting palm tattoos with the words 'Poww!' and 'Boom!' for some most epic High 5's.

My No-Thank-Yous

So, obviously I started with the loves, because I like to remain a positive person, but here are a few of my least favorite things and pet-peeves...
-I hate junk mail
-I hate it when people that brush their teeth at work in the bathroom
-I hate it when people that sing to themselves
-I hate overly crowded places
-I hate waiting in line
-I hate people that think and act like they are better than you
-I hate close mindedness
-I hate bills
-I hate doing laundry
-I hate chores in general, unless they serve as a useful form of procrastination
-I hate commercial breaks unless I have to pee
-I hate being scared and scary movies
-I hate red light cameras
-I hate PT cruisers
-I hate it when people say same difference
-I hate it when people crackle their gum when they chew it
-I hate it when people judge you
-I hate thunderstorms and rainy days
-I hate it when heels are painful to walk in
-I hate it that food can make you fat
-I hate running, even though I'll do it from time to time
-I hate stubbing my toe
-I hate work days that drag on and on
-I hate people that try to discredit your feelings, those are YOUR feelings
-I hate having to admit I'm wrong when I really thought I was right
-I hate when people try to call you out when you're wrong and act smug and you were really right all along
-I hate traffic jams
-I hate getting stuck at the train tracks in Canton
-I hate all of the construction going on in the city
-I hate the Key bridge
-I hate heights
-I hate hate hate spiders
-I hate it when you buy something from an infomercial and it doesn't live up to the hype
-I hate headaches and being sick in general
-I hate hospitals, they smell weird
-I hate letting go before you're ready
-I hate country music
-I hate having to break up with someone or let them down easy, or hurting feelings in general
-I hate big dogs that are poorly trained, esp if they jump on you
-I hate the smell of cat pee
-I hate fat days
-I hate skinny girls that complain about being fat
-I hate cramps and what comes after...
-I hate that I can't sit in grass because I'm allergic
-I hate dating in the social network generation
-I hate people that bring drama in my life
-I hate Debbie Downers
-I hate it when I want to cry and I don't know why
-I hate it when someone tells a joke that I just don't get

And lastly, I hate fun, its the worst, I actually prefer to not have fun...kidding!  Hope this was informative...basically, just don't take me to a breathtaking view of a spider park 10 floors up...

My Loves

Since I want to make an 'I Hate' list, in honor of Tosh.0, I thought it would only be fair to start off with an 'I Love' list...so, in no particular order:
-I love a 75 degree sunny day
-I love when the cherry blossoms come out
-I love the smell of snow/snow about to come
-I love the smell of a BBQ
-I love the smell of the beach/beachy things
-I love corn on the cob
-I love pee wee's playhouse among many TV shows
-I love a good surprise that I don't know its coming (if I know then I'll try to guess and ruin the surprise)
-I love kittens and puppies and their kisses
-I love down comforters
-I love climbing into a warm bed
-I love Maryland, you get to see all 4 seasons change
-I love my friends
-I love baby Jesus and all other forms of Jesus
-I love a good laugh
-I love a good movie that makes me laugh
-I love laughing so hard I cry and/or fall on the ground and my side hurts to the point where I can't laugh
-I love that Nicole and I can just set each other off with a good laugh with nothing more than a look or one word.
-I love a good kiss
-I love a touch that sends tingles through my body
-I love snuggling in the morning
-I love being loved in return
-I love Bailey's Irish Cream
-I love chocolate martinis
-I love playing hookie on occasion
-I love it when I'm good at what I do
-I love the Ravens
-I love the Ravens more when they are winning
-I love trampolines
-I love roller coasters and amusement parks
-I love tattoos on guys, in moderation
-I love waterparks and lazy rivers
-I love mini golf
-I love trying new restaurants
-I love food, esp: sushi, pizza, chinese, nachos, and the list goes on....
-I love facebook...at most times
-I love just curling up in sweats
-I love pajama brunch
-I love making ice cream soupy before I eat it
-I love I can't believe its not butter spray
-I love infomercials
-I love it when I'm tan
-I love a song that can instantly put you in a better mood
-I love pedicures, even though they tickle
-I love going to the hair salon
-I love the beach and vacations in general
-I love having a drink bought for me where I'm not obligated to get hit on for 15 min after
-I love the smell of gasoline
-I love finding money in a piece of clothing you haven't worn in a while
-I love skinny days
-I love weddings
-I love getting lost in the moment
-I love when someone finds me cute and funny
-I love getting new clothes and/or shoes
-I love a good deal
-I love the 80s...
-I love the way men treated women in black and white movies
-I love math and physics problems, you always know when you got it right
-I love art, I love it when I have time to do my art
-I love board games and scrabble
-I love the Wii
-I love being in a great mood for no particular reason
-I love red wine
-I love St. Patricks Day, 4th of July, and Halloween
-I love themed parties and dressing up for them
-I love my birthday
-I love a cathartic cry
-I love spontaneous busting out in dance

And really these are just a few of my favorite things...don't worry about me busting out in song...not being tone deaf would be on the 'I Wish' list ;)

Balancing Act

Why are relationships (and I use that term to encompass all variations and romantic forms) always so hard, sometimes I think I am better off staying single.  Getting interest is one thing, sustaining it is a completely different thing. Then there is always the balance of who like the other more.  There in lies the problem...its near impossible to find that relative balance.  If the guy likes you more, you want nothing to do with him.  If you like him more, chances are he's not showing the interest....hence why you continue the chase.  And of course you have to factor in timing to...someone should get all of these variables together and send them off to a mathematician and have them figure it all out for me.  Because I sure as hell waste too much time thinking about it!

Caution: Relationships May Seem More Toxic than they Appear...

The topic of conversation lately has been toxic relationships.  Some toxic relationships are easy to pick out and identify, some are incredibly easy to walk away from too.  But then there are those that slowly leak their destructive ways into your life, and before you know it, you are so far lost from the person you thought you were.  And it can be any relationship...whether just a friend, a boyfriend, or even a family member.  I think these are by far the hardest to walk away from, especially when there were so many happy memories in the past.

I'm thankful that I have some positive and healthy friendships in my life to help bring these to light last night.  While I'm sad to leave that part of my life behind, I think its essential or I will lose myself if I don't. My head was spinning after some of the events this past weekend, I couldn't understand how I could go from being so elated to feeling so cruddy in less than a day... Until last night that is, sometimes you feel like you are exactly where you were supposed to be, and that is how I felt last night because I felt like the topic of conversation was directed specifically at me.

I know that some people believe that I can hold a mean grudge...and I think I can in a lot of ways.  But maybe the positive way to view that is, God gives me the strength to build up boundaries in my life, and to cut off sources of negativity.  The one thing that I will try to work on, is letting go of any associated anger...

So many thanks to an epic group of friends and for being positive relationships in my life :)

Fresh Ink

So, people have been asking about the significance of my new tattoo...which I got on 10/1/10 on my right wrist.  The dove is a symbol of God's love for you, or in the hebrew word, agape. I've been Christian for as long as I can remember, but recently I've been more on track with my faith then ever.  The easy answer is that it is a symbol of my religion which will always be a part of me.

But its more than that.  My grandmother passed away last year on August 20th, 2009.  Dealing with her death was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.  I don't care if its selfish of me, and I know that ulitmately she was out of pain and in a better place, but I didn't want to let her go, I wanted her to stay here with me.  I probably took it the hardest of anyone in my family.  I cried every single day for 2 months...until a sermon on Agape at church.  The point of the sermon was complex, but it felt good to begin to let go of my grief.

Originally, I wanted to do a white ink tattoo.  And I thought about it and researched it for a long while.  It wasn't until last week when I had a series of odd dreams.  One of which was me getting the tattoo, and agreeing to black ink.  Which lead me to a thought out-impulsive Friday where I just finally did it.  And I placed it on my pulse line, because not only will my religion always be a part of me, but so will my grandmother.  Both helped shape me to be the person I am today, and I will never let go of either.

Ode to Corn on the Cob

My love and infatuation with corn on the cob has been long existant.  For as long as I remember, I've been a big fan.  I remember as a kid, my dad would drive easily 30 minutes out of his way to find a good fresh produce stand that had authentic "Maryland" corn.  Because, as you see, Maryland corn is different then all of the east coast, apparently it is sweeter, so I am told.  He will even call me to let me know when the last week I can get good Maryland corn is during the year, and of course recommends me to drive 20 minutes out of my way in order to accomplish this task.  My father has yet to realize, that rarely do I venture out of the city, and would probably be appauled to know that I buy my corn at Shoppers.

But I digress, this blog is about my love for corn on the cob.  Far superior than its loose counter part, corn off the cob (just goes to show, being loose isn't always better). Now, I'll take my COTC any old way, boil it, throw it on the grill, most of the time with some spray butter and salt....plain and simple.  But last night, I had quite the tasty variation.  It was corn that was smothered in butter and mayo and then covered with feta cheese.  Apparently the butter and mayo are needed to get the feta to stick.  Now, I still denied the inner-fat-girl in me and scraped most of this off, but a good amount was left in the crevices.  OH-EM-GEE...delish.  I ended up eating three ears.  And I don't regret it, at all.  The best part, it was only $1 an ear.  God bless the talent of the cooks at Ryleighs.  Kudos to you.

The only truely sad part of all of this is the realization that October is now upon us, and I must say good bye to my infatuation until next summer...its like saying good bye to a lover.  Hard and painful, tear.