Happily never after...

Fairy tales and romantic comedies while fun to watch, ultimately set us up for disappointment.  Unlike horror films and science fiction, which are easy to distinguish from reality, these tug on a heart string and a rationale that maybe...just maybe...this could happen.  Take any Disney movie, they are all pretty formulaic, the leads are star-crossed lovers that come from two different worlds and somehow, someway are able to make their love work.  And then there is the ever fun romantic comedy, where we find the devastatingly handsome leading man somehow gets his shit together just in the nick of time to show his leading lady that he does genuinely care about her and is now willing to put in the necessary effort to keep her heart forever.

I'm just as guilty as the next girl for buying into this.  But its Hollywood, we want to see the happy ending, but the reality is, this doesn't happen in real-life.  I think the reality is that women in general are more willing to forgive, to bend, to go back to someone, to put out effort, etc. because we want to buy in that we can have our happy ending too.  That maybe he will change... And there will always be the exception to this, so please don't get mad at me for generalizing.  There will be the guy that gets it together, the girl that draws the line and says 'no more', or even a complete role reversal all together.  But chances are, you and I aren't getting that happy ending. So, what next?  Where are the movies that show us how to pick up the pieces and move on with our lives and stop hoping that its going to work out?

Go Ray-vens!!

So, in an attempt to continue to remain positive about the things in my life.  Rather than discuss all the crud, I'm going to give a shout out to a most epic evening.  Anyone that knows me, knows that I'm a rather die hard Baltimore Ravens fan.  Last night I had the opportunity to work the door for an event at Pickles Pub where Ray Lewis was show casing his new clothing line RL52.  Part of the proceeds actually go to the Ray Lewis Foundation which helps disadvantaged youth in the area.

Not only did I get to keep some of the swag, I actually got to meet Ray Lewis and shake his hand.  Likewise, I was able to meet Chris Carr, Ray Rice, and Redding too!  So, add that to Chris McCallister and Derek Mason and I'm racking them up!

Still waiting for my boyfriend Billy Cundiff to break up with the wifey though, keeping the dream alive!

What a week...

What a difference one week makes.  I started off the week smitten, happy.  But sadly had to make a tough choice in my life and walk away from a situation that short-term makes me have all those warm fuzzies for what I'm hoping is a long term gain.  So, its been an emotional week, but I think I'm working through it, thanks to the help of some amazing friends.  I'm fortunate that my friends are great listeners and don't get tired of hearing me constantly complain about the same thing.

But it was a crazy weekend, and def had some good times in between.  As a Federal Hillian, I actually get a little proud of myself when I venture out of Team 21230 territory.  I made it to Fells and Canton twice this week!  And that is with working all weekend as well.  That's dedication! But I got to try out a new spot called the Point.  They have a good wine selection and great service.  Also got to see some live music at the Horse, sing some Karaoke at Waltz Inn, and make a fool out of myself.  I got to see tons of old friends and catch up as well.

I got to try a duck burger from the Abbey, which was amazing. And habenero wings from Ropewalk, which was painful, and that was only one bite. And the only major disappointment of the weekend was not being able to convince/execute two friends into getting palm tattoos with the words 'Poww!' and 'Boom!' for some most epic High 5's.

My No-Thank-Yous

So, obviously I started with the loves, because I like to remain a positive person, but here are a few of my least favorite things and pet-peeves...
-I hate junk mail
-I hate it when people that brush their teeth at work in the bathroom
-I hate it when people that sing to themselves
-I hate overly crowded places
-I hate waiting in line
-I hate people that think and act like they are better than you
-I hate close mindedness
-I hate bills
-I hate doing laundry
-I hate chores in general, unless they serve as a useful form of procrastination
-I hate commercial breaks unless I have to pee
-I hate being scared and scary movies
-I hate red light cameras
-I hate PT cruisers
-I hate it when people say same difference
-I hate it when people crackle their gum when they chew it
-I hate it when people judge you
-I hate thunderstorms and rainy days
-I hate it when heels are painful to walk in
-I hate it that food can make you fat
-I hate running, even though I'll do it from time to time
-I hate stubbing my toe
-I hate work days that drag on and on
-I hate people that try to discredit your feelings, those are YOUR feelings
-I hate having to admit I'm wrong when I really thought I was right
-I hate when people try to call you out when you're wrong and act smug and you were really right all along
-I hate traffic jams
-I hate getting stuck at the train tracks in Canton
-I hate all of the construction going on in the city
-I hate the Key bridge
-I hate heights
-I hate hate hate spiders
-I hate it when you buy something from an infomercial and it doesn't live up to the hype
-I hate headaches and being sick in general
-I hate hospitals, they smell weird
-I hate letting go before you're ready
-I hate country music
-I hate having to break up with someone or let them down easy, or hurting feelings in general
-I hate big dogs that are poorly trained, esp if they jump on you
-I hate the smell of cat pee
-I hate fat days
-I hate skinny girls that complain about being fat
-I hate cramps and what comes after...
-I hate that I can't sit in grass because I'm allergic
-I hate dating in the social network generation
-I hate people that bring drama in my life
-I hate Debbie Downers
-I hate it when I want to cry and I don't know why
-I hate it when someone tells a joke that I just don't get

And lastly, I hate fun, its the worst, I actually prefer to not have fun...kidding!  Hope this was informative...basically, just don't take me to a breathtaking view of a spider park 10 floors up...

My Loves

Since I want to make an 'I Hate' list, in honor of Tosh.0, I thought it would only be fair to start off with an 'I Love' list...so, in no particular order:
-I love a 75 degree sunny day
-I love when the cherry blossoms come out
-I love the smell of snow/snow about to come
-I love the smell of a BBQ
-I love the smell of the beach/beachy things
-I love corn on the cob
-I love pee wee's playhouse among many TV shows
-I love a good surprise that I don't know its coming (if I know then I'll try to guess and ruin the surprise)
-I love kittens and puppies and their kisses
-I love down comforters
-I love climbing into a warm bed
-I love Maryland, you get to see all 4 seasons change
-I love my friends
-I love baby Jesus and all other forms of Jesus
-I love a good laugh
-I love a good movie that makes me laugh
-I love laughing so hard I cry and/or fall on the ground and my side hurts to the point where I can't laugh
-I love that Nicole and I can just set each other off with a good laugh with nothing more than a look or one word.
-I love a good kiss
-I love a touch that sends tingles through my body
-I love snuggling in the morning
-I love being loved in return
-I love Bailey's Irish Cream
-I love chocolate martinis
-I love playing hookie on occasion
-I love it when I'm good at what I do
-I love the Ravens
-I love the Ravens more when they are winning
-I love trampolines
-I love roller coasters and amusement parks
-I love tattoos on guys, in moderation
-I love waterparks and lazy rivers
-I love mini golf
-I love trying new restaurants
-I love food, esp: sushi, pizza, chinese, nachos, and the list goes on....
-I love facebook...at most times
-I love just curling up in sweats
-I love pajama brunch
-I love making ice cream soupy before I eat it
-I love I can't believe its not butter spray
-I love infomercials
-I love it when I'm tan
-I love a song that can instantly put you in a better mood
-I love pedicures, even though they tickle
-I love going to the hair salon
-I love the beach and vacations in general
-I love having a drink bought for me where I'm not obligated to get hit on for 15 min after
-I love the smell of gasoline
-I love finding money in a piece of clothing you haven't worn in a while
-I love skinny days
-I love weddings
-I love getting lost in the moment
-I love when someone finds me cute and funny
-I love getting new clothes and/or shoes
-I love a good deal
-I love the 80s...
-I love the way men treated women in black and white movies
-I love math and physics problems, you always know when you got it right
-I love art, I love it when I have time to do my art
-I love board games and scrabble
-I love the Wii
-I love being in a great mood for no particular reason
-I love red wine
-I love St. Patricks Day, 4th of July, and Halloween
-I love themed parties and dressing up for them
-I love my birthday
-I love a cathartic cry
-I love spontaneous busting out in dance

And really these are just a few of my favorite things...don't worry about me busting out in song...not being tone deaf would be on the 'I Wish' list ;)

Balancing Act

Why are relationships (and I use that term to encompass all variations and romantic forms) always so hard, sometimes I think I am better off staying single.  Getting interest is one thing, sustaining it is a completely different thing. Then there is always the balance of who like the other more.  There in lies the problem...its near impossible to find that relative balance.  If the guy likes you more, you want nothing to do with him.  If you like him more, chances are he's not showing the interest....hence why you continue the chase.  And of course you have to factor in timing to...someone should get all of these variables together and send them off to a mathematician and have them figure it all out for me.  Because I sure as hell waste too much time thinking about it!

Caution: Relationships May Seem More Toxic than they Appear...

The topic of conversation lately has been toxic relationships.  Some toxic relationships are easy to pick out and identify, some are incredibly easy to walk away from too.  But then there are those that slowly leak their destructive ways into your life, and before you know it, you are so far lost from the person you thought you were.  And it can be any relationship...whether just a friend, a boyfriend, or even a family member.  I think these are by far the hardest to walk away from, especially when there were so many happy memories in the past.

I'm thankful that I have some positive and healthy friendships in my life to help bring these to light last night.  While I'm sad to leave that part of my life behind, I think its essential or I will lose myself if I don't. My head was spinning after some of the events this past weekend, I couldn't understand how I could go from being so elated to feeling so cruddy in less than a day... Until last night that is, sometimes you feel like you are exactly where you were supposed to be, and that is how I felt last night because I felt like the topic of conversation was directed specifically at me.

I know that some people believe that I can hold a mean grudge...and I think I can in a lot of ways.  But maybe the positive way to view that is, God gives me the strength to build up boundaries in my life, and to cut off sources of negativity.  The one thing that I will try to work on, is letting go of any associated anger...

So many thanks to an epic group of friends and for being positive relationships in my life :)

Fresh Ink

So, people have been asking about the significance of my new tattoo...which I got on 10/1/10 on my right wrist.  The dove is a symbol of God's love for you, or in the hebrew word, agape. I've been Christian for as long as I can remember, but recently I've been more on track with my faith then ever.  The easy answer is that it is a symbol of my religion which will always be a part of me.

But its more than that.  My grandmother passed away last year on August 20th, 2009.  Dealing with her death was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.  I don't care if its selfish of me, and I know that ulitmately she was out of pain and in a better place, but I didn't want to let her go, I wanted her to stay here with me.  I probably took it the hardest of anyone in my family.  I cried every single day for 2 months...until a sermon on Agape at church.  The point of the sermon was complex, but it felt good to begin to let go of my grief.

Originally, I wanted to do a white ink tattoo.  And I thought about it and researched it for a long while.  It wasn't until last week when I had a series of odd dreams.  One of which was me getting the tattoo, and agreeing to black ink.  Which lead me to a thought out-impulsive Friday where I just finally did it.  And I placed it on my pulse line, because not only will my religion always be a part of me, but so will my grandmother.  Both helped shape me to be the person I am today, and I will never let go of either.

Ode to Corn on the Cob

My love and infatuation with corn on the cob has been long existant.  For as long as I remember, I've been a big fan.  I remember as a kid, my dad would drive easily 30 minutes out of his way to find a good fresh produce stand that had authentic "Maryland" corn.  Because, as you see, Maryland corn is different then all of the east coast, apparently it is sweeter, so I am told.  He will even call me to let me know when the last week I can get good Maryland corn is during the year, and of course recommends me to drive 20 minutes out of my way in order to accomplish this task.  My father has yet to realize, that rarely do I venture out of the city, and would probably be appauled to know that I buy my corn at Shoppers.

But I digress, this blog is about my love for corn on the cob.  Far superior than its loose counter part, corn off the cob (just goes to show, being loose isn't always better). Now, I'll take my COTC any old way, boil it, throw it on the grill, most of the time with some spray butter and salt....plain and simple.  But last night, I had quite the tasty variation.  It was corn that was smothered in butter and mayo and then covered with feta cheese.  Apparently the butter and mayo are needed to get the feta to stick.  Now, I still denied the inner-fat-girl in me and scraped most of this off, but a good amount was left in the crevices.  OH-EM-GEE...delish.  I ended up eating three ears.  And I don't regret it, at all.  The best part, it was only $1 an ear.  God bless the talent of the cooks at Ryleighs.  Kudos to you.

The only truely sad part of all of this is the realization that October is now upon us, and I must say good bye to my infatuation until next summer...its like saying good bye to a lover.  Hard and painful, tear.